Have you ever felt bad, feeling like others are better than you? We all feel low sometimes and compare ourselves to others. When we see people doing better or looking better than us, we feel as if we lack something we shouldn’t. We often forget that we all are different, and so is our journey. Sometimes we’re not even comparing, but as soon as we see someone living the life we want, we start cursing our fate. Feeling low is natural when you’re struggling to achieve something, and you see others having it. We all go through this, and it’s possible to get out of this comparison trap. Today we’ll see how comparison affects our lives and what you can do to stop comparing yourself to others.
What Causes You to Compare Yourself to Others?
We compare our lives to others when we want to achieve something others already have. For example, you see someone attaining a goal you always wished for. And now, you’re comparing yourself with him. You’ll start questioning whether you could have put in more effort or if this person has worked harder than you. All these thoughts demotivate you and convince you that the other person is better than you.
The Impact of Social Media
Social media is another cause of comparison. Every day we see people on social media and what they’re up to in their lives. We are following so many people that you visit one of them celebrating something in their lives each day. The truth is that social media is all about flaunting one’s blessings, so every other day, you see someone buying a new car or a new house, getting married, living the ideal love life, welcoming a baby, going on a vacation, and the list goes on. And not just significant life events, but you also see people posting pictures with their spouses, children, wherever they go, and whatever they eat. If you and I start seeing people being blessed in so many ways, we’ll get depressed with our own life.
We must know that all that is shown on social media is just a glimpse of somebody’s life. That’s not how their life is; they’re only showing you the good side of their life. And that’s what we do, right? If we don’t post pictures of ourselves being depressed or crying, then how can we expect others to show their dark side on social media? Life is not what we show on social media; it’s what we live every day. And this should motivate us to live a more fulfilling life rather than just leading our lives as; fulfilling.
Why You Shouldn’t Compare Yourself to Others
Comparison has a draining effect on our physical and mental health. So, we should stop comparing ourselves to others to make our lives peaceful and content.
Here are some reasons why you shouldn’t compare yourself to others;
1. It won’t speed up the process
You should stop comparing yourself to others because comparison with others won’t speed up your journey. If someone fulfilled a target in a few months, it doesn’t mean you will take the same time. We all function at our own pace, and comparing your speed with others will not help you do things at their pace. It’s better to focus on your path and not to look at others.
2. It will affect your productivity
Comparison significantly affects our productivity. If you keep looking at people doing better, you will start underestimating your efforts. They’ll appear small and meaningless. If you start seeing around you, many people will be above you at the top of their game. But we should know that all the successful people were once a beginner like you. If they can turn passions into a massive success, so can you. You must stop comparing yourself to others to keep going. Taking consistent steps toward your journey is essential to achieving your long-term goals.
3. It shatters your confidence
When you compare yourself to others, you start doubting yourself. You believe you cannot be as successful as others before giving yourself a chance. In addition to this, not seeing quick results prevents you from doing more. To achieve more and maintain momentum, we must appreciate ourselves. If you keep devaluing yourself, you will never be able to win and succeed.
4. It lowers your motivation
Not just does comparison affect your productivity, but it also lowers your motivation. To be motivated and achieve great results, we must do more and think less. However, comparison with others only makes us feel inferior to others and leaves us tired and exhausted.
The Effect of Comparison
Comparison affects our lives in many ways. It has a significant effect on our personal and social life. If we can’t stop comparing ourselves to others, we will feel discouraged, impacting our social relations with others. Comparison is not only the thief of joy, but it can also affect our bonds with others. It can ruin great relationships because once you start competing with people, you develop jealousy and envy for them. Let’s look at what happens to our life when we stop comparing ourselves to others and the dangers of comparison.
Benefits of not comparing yourself to others
When you stop comparing yourself to others, you’ll see positive effects on your life. Here are some of the benefits when you stop comparing.
- When we stop comparing ourselves to others, we start feeling calm in life. It helps us to stop rushing through life and go after our dreams slowly and steadily.
- It helps you compete with yourself and improve your life rather than competing with others.
- It reduces stress and anxiety and makes your life fulfilling.
- It makes you a happier person inside and out. When you stop comparing yourself to others, you worry less and live a calm life.
- When you choose not to compare your life to others, you save time and energy and use it where needed.
- It helps you embrace your imperfections, and it increases your self-esteem.
The Dangers of Comparing yourself to others
You see numerous benefits in your life when you stop comparing yourself to others. However, if you keep comparing yourself to others, you could face some dangers of comparison in your life.
Here is a list of dangers that we encounter when we compare with others;
- Poor focus
- Lack of productivity
- Anxiety and depression
- Staying in the past
- Ungratefulness towards life
- Low self-esteem
- Poor mental health
- Dealing with negative thought cycles
- Lack of growth
- Developing a negative self-image
- Absence of peace in life
- Mood swings
- Lack of motivation
- Poor well-being
How do I Stop Comparing Myself to Others? Here’s How:
Now let’s have a look at how you can stop comparing yourself to others and live a serene life;
1. Be Mindful of Your Emotions
We need to start focusing on our lives to pay less attention to other people’s lives. If we start focusing on our lives, we’ll get to know how we feel and what causes us to feel that way.
For instance, if you feel sad, then look at why you feel that way. Ask yourself questions about how you can improve your mood and calm down. However, instead of being mindful of our emotions, we try to escape our feelings.
What do we do when we’re sad or in distress? We avoid how we feel and distract ourselves with social media apps. Scrolling on social media seems to be the best way for us to escape our problems.
If you keep running from the problems of your life, you will start focusing on others. You’ll start seeing them as lucky or fortunate to be blessed. You never know how much a person has struggled to live a life you admire. Ask yourself, are you making your life better, or are you only complaining about the calamities or the lack of resources in your life?
We compare our lives with others when we lack satisfaction or fulfillment. When we stop being happy about our life, we start peeking into others’ lives. And that’s where we start comparing and, as a result devaluing our own life.
2. Overcome negative thought patterns
Negative thoughts are one of the consequences of comparing your life to others. Initially, when you start comparing, you see yourself having destructive thoughts. And the perfect thing you can do is stop thinking negatively and break the negative thought cycles as soon as possible. It’s better to control your thoughts before they start controlling you.
Negative thoughts build up when you think that you haven’t achieved much or do not see results like others. As soon as you see that you’re being disheartened, feed your mind with positive thoughts and cheer yourself up. Remind yourself that it doesn’t matter if you’re not satisfied with your progress currently; you will see results if you keep yourself motivated and put in consistent efforts.
3. Stop being self-critical
If you don’t control your negative mindset, it will lead to self-criticism. Sometimes we can’t convince ourselves that it’s not our fault if our life is not the way we want. It takes time to achieve your goals and live your dream life.
Don’t criticize yourself when things don’t go your way. A self-critical mindset can lead to low productivity and destructive habits. If you want to keep going, stop comparing your life with others and get out of the self-critical mindset.
If you’re struggling to stop self-criticism, you can seek help from trusted friends or family members. Sometimes we feel less burdened sharing our problems with others. Just telling someone close how you feel can help you alleviate your suffering, and you can reach a solution together.
4. Identify your triggers
We should look for things that cause us to compare or something due to which we belittle our blessings. Maybe some people in your life treat you in a way that generates negative thoughts about you or your life. Or it could be that you feel bad about yourself when you’re among a specific group of people. Sometimes we hang out with the wrong people or maybe people who are unsuitable for us, and we feel inferior to them, making us feel unworthy.
If you see that you start comparing your life every time you spend time with those particular people, point out what’s the root cause behind it. Are you not receiving respect, or is it that they make fun of you? There could be many reasons you’re comparing, and you need to identify people or circumstances that cause you to make comparisons or think badly about yourself.
People who love and value us never put us in a position to question ourselves, whether about looks, money, or simply who we are. If someone’s making fun of how you look, your fashion sense, your financial status, or anything that makes you feel unworthy, reduce interacting with them and, if possible, stop being around them.
5. Work on personal weaknesses
You can stop comparing your life to others if you start working on your weaknesses than being sad about them. When you focus on your progress, you’ll see what areas you are lacking and where you should put in more effort. Focusing on your weakness lets you compare less to others. And this way, you get engaged in improving your life and tend to focus less on others.
To stop comparing your life to others, get so involved in your life that you don’t have the time to look where the grass is greener. Once you strive for excellence in your life, you’ll get addicted to achieving more. And you’ll get into momentum, which prevents you from comparing with others.
6. Be comfortable in your own skin
Stop comparing yourself to others by being who you are. We stop making comparisons with others when we are comfortable with who we are. It also helps us to love ourselves and prioritize what’s important to us. You are perfect the way you are, and you don’t need to change yourself for others.
You will always see people doing better than you, and you can’t force yourself to be better than every person you come across. Be happy with who you are and strive to be your best version. If you want to compete, compete with the past version of yourself and not others.
7. Put your fears aside
We compare ourselves to others and believe we cannot do something as great as they are doing. We all have unlimited potential, and the only thing stopping us from being successful is our fear. And the worst fear we all face is the fear of taking the first step.
Stop thinking you’re not capable enough; you have everything you need to make your dreams your reality. Don’t limit yourself by holding onto your fears. Let go of the fears and take risks because change is uncomfortable but necessary.
8. Spend less time on social media
As we have discussed above, social media can be one of the leading causes of comparison. Spending less time on social media can help you focus on your life and compare less with others. Sometimes we’re happy in our lives, and suddenly we see something that makes us gloomy.
Make a routine to check social media once or twice daily or spare an hour for it; stop scrolling through social media all day. We are so used to it that we open social media apps whenever we get some time from our busy routines. We’re all struggling with this, but limiting social media from your day can make your everyday life easier. You can check this article if you are struggling to distance yourself from social media.
9. Don’t envy others
Mostly comparison leads to hatred and envy. We should not be jealous of people who have more than us. You might have things that others dream of having. Stop comparing yourself to others because it will disturb your inner peace. Don’t envy others because we humans need each other. Establish good relations with others and be kind. We need love more than money. Money will never satisfy you, as love from others brings happiness into your life. Don’t ruin precious relations with loved ones by competing on things that aren’t as valuable as your bond with them.
Money is and will always be a way to meet essential needs. It can never bring peace and comfort as love brings it into your life. Earn money and be successful to spend it the right way, on your loved ones and for the right cause, not for making others jealous or flaunting.
10. Pursue your dreams
Stop competing with others and pursue your dreams. We can achieve anything for which we strive hard. Remember, on your way to your goals, you should improve your moral character as much as possible. Be down to earth and stop competing with others. Promise yourself that you will use your money to benefit others if you make millions in the next few years. When you set the right intentions, reaching your goals and being prosperous in life becomes easy. Our success highly depends on our intentions.
Do as many charitable works as you can. Be nice to humanity and see how your dreams will be accomplished soon. Just stay motivated, and pursue your dreams. Leave the negative people and stop competition. When you set high goals, you eventually stop comparing yourself to others and focus on your life.
11. Be grateful for everything you have
When you adopt the habit of gratefulness, you stop being part of the comparison trap. Because when we appreciate the little things, we get inner satisfaction. And when we become self-satisfied, we stop chasing things. Remember that people who flaunt and compare themselves with others are unsatisfied in life.
Adopt the habit of gratitude for a better living. Just for a moment, think about all the blessings you have. Lord has given us many blessings, and we cannot enumerate them. When you become grateful, good things start to reciprocate. If you ponder deeply, you will realize that you have many things to be thankful for.
The Final Word
As we move forward in this fast-paced world, we’re becoming more and more involved in the rat race. We’re competing with each other even at the risk of our relationships. The more we advance, the farther we get from our roots. We have made the purpose of life to be better and earn more than others. Some of us only want to be successful so we can afford that dream car and brag in front of others. This makes us forget the ultimate purpose of life. Our goal should be to live a happy and peaceful life, not a life with all the material things but lacking the essentials like love, honesty, and tranquility.